Today began with ... well, how do I put this delicately? ... a hangover that could take down an elephant! Truth be told, I don't think the hangover was caused by what I drank as much as it was caused by my lack of sleep. I keep thinking I'm younger and more socially agile than I am. DE-NIAL - more than just a river in Egypt. (That's so much more clever when it's spoken, and not spelled.)
I dragged my sorry carcass out of bed at 10:30, showered, dressed, and checked out of my hotel. I then carted my things a block and a half to the next hotel. (This is one way that I know I'm still mildly vibrant and not entirely set in my ways: I will stay in two different hotels in order to save money! Who's adventurous and young at heart? I think it might be me!) My room wasn't ready so I checked my bags with the bell man (who squealed at my carry-on bag ... someone's "happy"!!) and headed out to have brunch at the Bryant Park Cafe. I don't know why I like this place. It's a little over-priced, the food is half-way decent and the service isn't the best, but I just love eating at this outdoor cafe and checking people out. (Plus, there are lots of trees around, so if you're checking someone out a little too intently, you can always move your chair and use a tree for cover! Not that I speak from experience, here!)
I enjoyed a turkey burger and a glass of sauvignon blanc. (I don't usually order this wine, but it seemed the thing to do on a Sunday afternoon brunch date with myself in New York City.) From here, I stopped at Duane Read Pharmacy. Now, I guess I should explain something. I really, really like drug stores. When Darling One and I first started seeing each other, one of our first dates was at Shoppers Drug Mart. Thus, it seemed perfectly appropriate to kill time while my room was being prepared by marvelling at the various items one can purchase at an American pharmacy.
Did you know they sell beer at drug stores in the US? That's fantastic! It's my drug of choice, so I truly felt that all of my needs were filled. So, here's what happens when you let me loose in an American Pharmacy. The contents of my cart were, as follows:
- "Curl Manaic" curling cream (the initial reason for my entering the establishment)
- a second type of curling lotion ('cause variety is the spice of life ... and it was on sale)
- Herbal deodorant (it smelled really nice, and with all the walking I'd be doing, I thought I'd continue with my "do it for the planet" trend)
- Binaca breath spray (just 'cause ever since I heard Jerry Seinfeld reference it in a show, I've enjoyed the name)
- Greeting cards (because you should always have them on hand; I might want to send a note to Kristin Chenoweth.)
- Heineken Light beer (because when you're going to douse your body in empty calories, it's prudent to diminish those calories by a count of 50 or 75 whenever you can)
- a note pad (because this blog began handwritten ... )
- Ibuprofen (to ease the pain in my hand from all the writing ... )
- VItamins C and D (to help with the hangover)
- a big bottle of water (again, to help with the hangover)
- single-use tooth brushes that don't require water or rinsing (DAMNED "impulse buy" bins at the cash register!!)
- hand lotion
- pressed facial powder (it was on sale)
So, armed with my "booty" I headed back to the hotel and settled into my room. I freshened up and headed out to my first stop of the day: "Avenue Q" - the Off-Broadway production.
Now, for those of you unaware, Avenue Q began as an off-Broadway show, then moved on to Broadway, won the Tony for Best Musical in 2004, and is now Off-Broadway again. It's the story of a young fellow who moves to a neighbourhood in New York City after graduating with a B.A. in English and neither a purpose in life, nor a job. (From the opening number "What Do You Do With A B.A. in English?", I had a feeling I would empathize with this character!) Here's the thing about the characters in Avenue Q: some are people, some are puppets. The people operating the puppets are as much a part of the scene as the puppets. There is no ventriloquism here. Nope ... they are openly moving their mouths and matching the puppets in movements and expression. As much as you think this might be distracting, it's not! The puppets truly take on a life of their own and after a while, you don't really notice the actors as much. In fact, eventually, the actors become One with the Puppets. (Oh, yeah, did I mention there was a special on Sangria for the show?)
Anyhoo, it was good, but I kinda wish I'd seen it while on Broadway. The audience was a little smaller and subdued and didn't feed the actors as much as a larger Broadway Theatre crowd would have done. Thus, the actors didn't have much to work with, in terms of audience energy, and that showed, at times. Don't get me wrong: I'm not saying they were lacklustre. I just think that with the right audience, that cast would have come alive a little more.
The voices were great, the movement was really inventive and interesting, and the scenery was cute. However, I'm honestly surprised it won the Tony. (I have to wonder what other productions were showing in 2004 ... pickings must have been slim!) The songs were funny and amusing, but no musical wonders. (Put it this way: Susan Boyle wouldn't have been the world wide web queen that she was if she hadn't chosen "I Dreamed A Dream" and instead went with "The Internet Is For Porn". I'm just sayin' ... ) However, there were some redeeming moments. I truly enjoyed the character of "Christmas Eve", a Japanese immigrant with a Masters in Psychology who who felt the reason she couldn't maintain any steady therapy clients was her skill and efficiency in curing them! Oh, and I can't discuss Avenue Q without mentioning the sex scene between two puppets. Yes, two puppets. It began as disturbing, then amusing, then arousing, which brought it right back to disturbing again!! (Thank God for the special on Sangria!)
Following the show, I walked down 8th Avenue, which was closed off from vehicular traffic to allow a street fair of sorts. If you are looking for a pashmina, table runner, or a t-shirt that says "My Grandma went to New York and all I got was this lousy t-shirt" t-shirt, I have found your Utopia!!
And, yes, in case you're wondering, I bought something. I couldn't stop myself. Every time I said "no" and started walking away, the price got lower. I started worrying about the poor man's wife and kids and figured if I didn't buy something and stop him, he's start offering me money to take it off his hands. His enthusiasm made me wonder if the items might have been stolen ... which worried me slightly, seeing as I was all "protect the planet" and "do what's right" and all that. However, I got over that quickly, and continued shopping.
Now here's something at which to marvel: did you know that shoe stores in Time Square close at 1:00 AM ... even on a holiday weekend?!?! DId you also know that if you spend $100 or more at a particular Times Square shoe store, you get $20 off your purchase? (Well, I don't know if that's a regular thing, but I looooved that it was in effect on this night!! Did you also know that if you act all sweet to the nice sales people like "Shemar", they might allow you to make 2 separate purchases, thereby saving $40 in total? I don't like to brag, but I think my interaction with Shemar was the stuff of diplomatic legend. I'm just sayin' ...
Like a Shirpa of Commerce, I loaded my packages on my back and returned to the hotel to determine what I would do that evening.
Stay tuned for the next chapter:
Dinner in Little Italy
or
"F**k you, you f**king f**ck"!
(Italian is such a beautiful language, isn't it?)
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